We are all beautiful lanterns of light to each other, although we don’t always know when our lantern is shining a light for someone. Whether our light is dim or glowing we are all unknowingly teaching and helping each other in a variety of ways.
Our goal is to become the brightest light we can be for it touches all of humanity. It is our light that illuminates the universe. The light is brilliantly luminescent because it is God’s light or Source which ever you prefer. Our creator’s light lives inside our hearts, and has been placed there purposefully for us to seek so that we can be taught healing, love, wisdom, passion and purpose which we can then expand and integrate into higher levels of consciousness.
The quest for meaning, purpose, and the maturation and evolution of our soul, is the Spiritual journey. The journey accelerates and expands our capacity to hold and elevate light and love for ourselves and others. Although this might sound easy it is not. It takes a lot of time and practice through meditation/prayer to achieve this expansion. In fact it can take many incarnations to achieve. This, however, does not negate the light that already exists within.
Our humanity is so complex, it creates barriers and resistance to searching deep within ourselves. It takes obedience, patience and commitment to make this inner search your goal. As humans, we are all looking for validation, safety, acceptance, love and connectedness. Many of us have learned to look outside of ourselves for this fulfillment and yet, we do not feel whole.
As part of our humanity, our ego’s role is Spiritually purposeful in creating lessons so that our soul can evolve. Spiritual evolution is never easy. Our ego keeps us focused on the outside world and other peoples light. We are attracted to the ethereal shinning light of others because that is what is calling to you within and your light is no different. You are seeing a mirror image of yourself in your highest form, your Divinity, which is entwined with your humanity. Due to us being a part of a cosmic collective consciousness, we are all privileged to the same knowledge, wisdom, love and light and our soul recognizes this light as a kindred spirits.
The more you search inside and understand that you are already equipped with everything you will need for your time here, the more you will experience lasting peace, joy, contentment, creativity and love for your journey. The map for your journey lies within you and you alone. No one else has your map or knows your path. As others shine their light on us we are to dive inside ourselves to find our unique map/path. The deeper we dive the more treasure is found and the brighter our own light becomes as we endlessly unearth gifts in all different forms.
You will find that you lack nothing and are everything. If you rely too heavily on everyone else’s light to guide you, you never have enough time or enough desire to search inside yourself to learn what your own light’s higher purpose truly is.
As part of the spiritual journey we learn about self-love from receiving it from our higher-self and guides. Eventually we need to internalize this and learn how to lavish it on ourselves. As I write this it is a lesson that I am still focused on. There is a terrible rebellion from within against doing this, from our wounds and our ego. Our ego is what makes us feel guilty for taking time for ourselves and it is the same voice that tells us we are not doing it good enough when we do take the time. I had never learned how to put myself first in a loving manner nor had most of my clients and I don’t mean getting my nails done! Learning how to cherish every part of you, your needs, and what is best for you does not come naturally. It is learning how to become a loving nurturing mom to yourself where you make good decisions for you, set boundaries with yourself and others and unconditionally love yourself no matter what you are doing or feeling at the moment.
The rebellion makes everything outside of us more important than us. If someone needs something, I can’t say no, I don’t know how to turn my phone or email off, etc. Our wounded internal children do not know how to receive our own love and the ego distracts us from doing it. What I found is that when I started to take the time to nurture myself, feel my feelings and have love and compassion for myself it was done very hastily. I would give myself 5 minutes and then I was done. My ego was still tugging on me to get onto the next thing. The 5 minutes was a good start but it was abrupt and it does not create safety within you. We need to see it as a problem when you are willing to give something outside of you more time than yourself. (I realize we need to work, that’s not what I mean).
I started to think about things that I do even if I like doing it and how much time I give it versus what I give to myself. So let’s separate some things. I can write all day because I love to do it, but if there is no balance within me, I am not truly taking care of myself. I would give a lot of time over the years to my work, cooking, children, cleaning, going to the gym, my husband, social time, doing my hair or putting on make up but not sitting down with myself and asking how I am doing. What am I feeling? What has my heart been yearning for that I have been depriving it of? What parts keep crying to me that I have been avoiding? This is part of the reason that we don’t take the time to meditate and journal consistently.
There is something so strong within us that wants to rebel the love and time that is needed to become balanced within ourselves so we can become balanced on the outside. This rebellion to get quite and indulge in self-love is a force to recon with. It feels like war inside and this rebellion never stops. We need to be persistent in the quest of allowing us to be the most important relationship we ever have.
Our ego comes with being human; it is a part of the brain that controls fight or flight. The ego believes it is separated from God/Spirit, everyone and everything. This is the judgmental, negative, prideful, shadow side of us. The Soul and ego are in direct conflict and always fighting for control. I believe that the ego is spiritually purposeful to help our soul evolve to higher levels of consciousness. The ego knows nothing about love but directs us all day long. We have all learned to listen to the voice of the ego as our own voice and believe what we hear is true yet there is no truth to what it says. Our ego projects onto our outer world what we believe unconsciously about ourselves. It actually creates a mirror for us to see ourselves in others both positive and negative. Our Soul’s job is to awaken to this mirror and remember that it incarnated into human form, transcend the ego, and learn to live with the ego within a harmonious state. This is a lifetime of work if not many more.
So what is Self-love? It is a difficult concept since most of us have not witnessed or been taught what it is. I thought self-love was taking care of myself spiritually, emotionally and physically, which can be an extension of the meaning. In exploring myself with the help of my Spiritual guides I have been learning that it truly means loving ourselves without judgment. Whether we are in the highest form of ourselves, which is Spirit, who is pure love, joy and compassion or whether we are in our ego and full of fear. Fear gets manifested in many ways, behaviorally and emotionally such as, anxiety, frustration, anger, performing and controlling so we feel comfortable in our environment.
As a human being it is normal to waffle back and forth from being our highest to our ego. Our Spiritual journey awakens us to all of the complex intricacies within us and calls on us to learn discipline and love for all of the dichotomy within us being a beautiful blend of spirit and human. Our life quest is to align more with our highest form (Spirit) and less with the ego and to accept and love ourselves regardless of which part is present or not. By the way, this takes a lot of boundary setting and self-discipline within us and outside of us.
Our Spirit lives in the present and our ego lives in our unconscious world where everything is an illusion and then a projection of that illusion. As a human we have both of these extremes happening within us and that will never change, although we work diligently to remain present so we can be in our highest form the majority of time. If we can develop self love by understanding the immense task we have taken on to awaken and master ourselves it should bring the same love and compassion for others as they are also in the same trance of the ego and are trying hard daily to understand themselves and life, just as we are who have already embarked in the awakening process. Self love means accepting the whole of who we are not just when we are in our highest form.
We are to transcend judgment of others and ourselves. We become aware of behaviors but that is different then judging. Something that can help take away some conflict and judgment of yourself and others is while we are walking an awakened spiritual path remember that we are all helping others whether we are in our highest form or in our ego as we role model to each other what needs to be healed within. We are all student and teacher. I learn from watching my own behavior and what I witness in others. If I see others as broken, I see myself as broken since everything outside of us is a mirror image of us. Judgment is pure belief in brokenness, which comes from the ego. We only need to stop believing that we or others are broken. The only way to do this is by walking a Spiritual path of awakening, enlightenment and remembering that we are all innocent, sinless and the same.
Over the years I’ve worked with many clients who did not want to journal. I have heard lots of excuses and used many of them myself at times…
”I don’t have time”
“I don’t know what to write”
“It’s not going to help anyway”
“I don’t want to see what’s inside me”
“I’d rather think about things than write them down”
“I’m afraid someone will read what I wrote”
“If I write things down than I will have to do something about them”
“I will have to take action then”
“I don’t like to write”
“I don’t write well”
I can go on and on. Journaling is an amazing tool and it provides a way for you to understand your feelings, track your progress and hold yourself accountable.
There is no right or wrong way to journal or an ideal time for journaling. It is your private journal and no one should read it unless of course you want them to. You need to be totally open and honest with yourself. You don’t want to edit what you write as if someone else was going to read it. It does not matter if it is sloppy or that you make grammatical errors, no one is checking your work. I like to journal in the morning, some people journal during their lunch break or at bedtime. You fit it in your schedule where it works best. It should be something you look forward to doing, quiet time for yourself.
If you would rather type than write then you can journal in your computer by opening a word document and start with the date, type your entry and then save the document. You will want to go back to the same document the next day, type the date in and start your entry, then save when completed. This way you have one journal document. I have had clients that like to use the “notes app” on their phone as well to journal. I prefer pen and paper myself, my thoughts flow much better. You use what works best for you.
If you have trouble knowing what to start writing about, just ask yourself, “how has my day been going, what was good, what was bad, what did I notice about myself or others today, ” whatever comes up as an answer to those questions is what you write down. You never need to start at the beginning of a story like a narrative, you know all of the stories and the writing is for your benefit. It should become automatic writing, or a stream of consciousness, or whatever pops in your mind.
You NEVER judge what you are writing, even if you don’t like what you are saying, it doesn’t matter. You are eventually going to see differences in thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Some people say that their writing is scattered and all over the place or that they keep writing about the same things over and over again. It is all okay, you are just seeing what is going on in your head and you cannot fix or heal anything unless you are willing to look at your truth and be honest with yourself. No JUDGING just OBSERVING what your thoughts and feelings are. We don’t judge a feeling or thought as good or bad, this is what the EGO does and this creates all of the shame and guilt we feel or hide from ourselves.
I can write for 5 minutes or 5 hours, it depends on what wants to come out. I just stop when I am finished. Do not be afraid to look inside, you already know every story, and if you feel fearful of what you write, it is just something for you to learn about yourself, heal it and build confidence in knowing that you can handle your own feelings.